By Dale Szewczyk
Much of my correction comes from within me. Not that I meant for it to work that way, just that the more I learn about God, the more I can see for myself on many things. Of course it helps to keep Godly counsel, but much of my correction is enlightenment that has been given to me by the Holy Spirit. I reflect I looked at things a year ago, two years ago, three years ago; and WOW. I almost don't recognize myself. For me, I am proof of what happens when a Christian leaves his first love and lives in the flesh. Not that I meant to do that, but I did by doing my own thing. I put value on my feelings, on my creedo, on my understanding, on my humility, on my morals. All righteous that is not of God is counted as filthy rags, and here I was thinking I was pretty cool compared to the world. Yeah, I guess I was the very best of filth. Isn't that something to boast of? DO I get a crown? Perhaps a cookie? Maybe a medal? How about a ribbon I can wear like a bandolier?
For those who don't know, I judge myself more than anyone, no one holds a candle to my sin. What? Because you're gay you think you have me beat? Or maybe you're a crack addict? Porn addict? Had sex with a hundred people before you were 20? Exactly what is it that wins you sinner of the year?
Sorry folks, as a Christian I am enlightened to my sin, the very sin I am saved from, but sin that is nailed to the cross for the very fact it is pure evil. Sin is not okay for a Christian to willfully commit, after all Jesus was tortured and brutally murdered because of sin.
I came back fearing for my salvation when I use to believe in once saved always saved. Why on Earth would I worry so much if I was saved? I didn't worry as much when I was younger, even when I was sinning then too (willfully), but yet after a 15 year downslide it caught up to me.
Why? How? But... but... but... what about personal doctrine of human opinions that pass as theology? Can't I listen to one of those and go on doing my thing? Well, my thing should be GOD'S THING!!!! So, on that note... I'd need to be doing God's thing before I can say yes to that.
Oh, but I am a writer, that was who I defined myself as. I defined myself as a gift that God gave me. Oh, but I sought happiness and fulfillment in people. Not in God. I worried over money, home, maybe a few luxuries, yes; I as a Christian build a kingdom of sand... but on a Rock.
You see, I was saved. I just wandered off. You see, a Christian can drift, they can leave their first love. They get so far removed that their very name is removed from the book of life. It's funny the stuff you learn when you read past your favorite scriptures, there is a lot to read, and it isn't all one thing. It's like saying either grace or faith saves you, when it takes both. Or that Jesus is only wrath or love, when He is both. It's like saying that you can't or can lose your salvation, when it is a matter of the heart based on the structural integrity of your heart.
Here's the rub, God knows your heart. he knows if you are truly repented, He knows if you're going to come back, or if you ever belonged to Him to begin with. He will know if your love for Him was planted in deep soil or shallow soil, or if you love Him with your head and not your heart. Some believe they have Him in their heart, but do they? Their fruit, what does it say? Am I reading their fruit right? Hmmm, I know when I see others who live like I lived, they worry me. I fear for them. Because I knew in my soul that I was sin for it if I didn't get back on track.
When I strip away the self, lay baron before the Lord, a willing and living sacrifice; why is it I still worry about those who live how I lived? I say there's a good reason for it.
My best advice for anyone, the sermon I was meant to preach from testimony is this; DO NOT, I say again, DO NOT, live how I lived! Did you hear that? I am not telling to not be you, I am telling you to not be like I was. What was I again? A waste. A sad, sad waste of a witness. If I was salt I wouldn't have had flavor, so then what is the point?
As a child going to church and seeing Christians talk about how they were before they were saved compared to now, I use to think that I didn't think I had a testimony. Then when I willfully sinned, how then was the Word going to convict me? Well read it long enough and the conviction comes. I sought God with tears and brokenness, with the enlightenment that I tried to be my own savior when He is my savior. I drifted so far, and He brought me back. I wanted Him, and He took me in. Like the prodigal son, I returned home.
Here's something I have learned; everything we do is worship, everything we do is praise, everything we do, is for God. So when we sin, we are not doing those things, but slapping Him in the face for the gift He gave us. Which is why repentance is so important. Why we can't live like we once was. As a new creation, as transformed into a living sacrifice, we are to live as such. For we are now part of His family, to live in defiance is suicide, and lacking. It isn't just hell that sucks, it's living for eternity without Him, because even now we are not separated from Him. We have never truly felt a complete absence of God. But hell is just that. This isn't about, not living it up in Bling-bling land, it's about losing our place with God. We want to be in Heaven because GOD IS THERE! That is home.
So then, what is this place that the carnals call reality? It is the decaying creation that man killed thousands of years ago, and soon we will be off of it. Until then, we are to serve God, serve man as God would have us, love each other, and love God. Enjoy His blessings, and bless each other. For when we bless each other, if we were to do it all the time, and all of us did it, no one would ever do without, nor would anyone drift away from God.
Stay calm, and keep your love for God! If you truly love Him, you seek to obey Him, and seek to do His will, and you will be fulfilled.
No comments:
Post a Comment